dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
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