your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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