So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
