this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
