U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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