I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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