Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
