just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
