Umm I'm too high to move.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize