Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Holy sore nipples Batman
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
