I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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