Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
