Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
