i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
