if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
