Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
