The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
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