maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
