I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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