We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
