Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
