I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
