So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize