I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just googled if crying burns calories
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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