I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
