Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
