he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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