She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
