i think my mom watched the whole time
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
