glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
