he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
