worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
