I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
