If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
