one two three fourrrrnication!
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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