Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
