Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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