So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
