you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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