Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
