Where did you get a picture of my penis
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
