Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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