have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
