best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
