Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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