Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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