You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
