Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
