Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
try to milk me bitch
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