Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
