I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
