Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
