don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
