why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize