Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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