Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
