NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
