i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
only you would photoshop your dick
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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