Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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