Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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