I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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