Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I don't deserve a penis
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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