How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
