So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
