well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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