so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
