I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You pole danced in your parka.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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