So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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