I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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