he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize